Wherein Christmas Bear appears to have catnip-like qualities to our Boosier.
Category: Family
Dear Dahlia,
Well, little girl, I sit here with you on my lap, and I can honestly say you aren’t so little anymore!! I am thrilled that you will be a whole year old this month. Wow. This has been a busy month! You are still working on that walking thing. I was so sure that you would be walking weeks ago. Hah! Maybe I will learn some day to not be so sure of when you will do what. You are certainly getting around with more and more agility. Today you enjoyed pushing your walker around with the stuffed animal in front, kind of like a stroller. Then you turned it around and tried to climb on it yourself. You aren’t taking more than a tiny step or two on your own between objects, but you confidently push your walker around, or walk places while balancing on Mama or Dada’s hands. Of course, this month was your first Valentine’s Day too. Dada got you a cute little knitted dog whose nose you love to munch on.
Your are eating most anything nowadays, and you can eat little pieces of whatever Dada and I are eating. You are also quick to let us know what you do and don’t like. You are not above begging for bits of things that we probably shouldn’t be giving you, like croissants or muffins. I am going to be going away in May for 5 days to a Training Course, so Dada and Grandma are going to take care of you. This plan sparked my decision to put you on more of a schedule for feeding/nursing. You had been nursing pretty much as often as you wanted (every 2-3 hours) until about a month ago. I decided you would do well nursing 4 times a day: Morning, late morning, early afternoon, and bedtime. You adapted very easily on just the first day of this schedule. You didn’t even cry to nurse, I just made sure you were distracted and fed you a lot of food. Boy can you pack it away! I am starting to understand just how many calories you have been sucking out of me for the past 11 months! I also realized that you had only been snacking when you were nursing before. Now you actually sit down for a serious meal when I nurse you. That schedule has fallen apart the past week or so because of a trip to Ithaca and some teething issues. Thats OK, though. I know it will be easy enough to get back onto it when you feel better.
You got your third and fourth tooth a week and a half ago. Now you have a very sharp set of 4 front teeth! Let me tell you, it has made nursing a little more uncomfortable for me, but hopefully they will dull a bit soon. Maybe I will give you a wood block to chew on 
You have a dry skin rash on your back that has developed from a small spot to cover most of your back and small spots on your arms and legs over the past month. The doctor said it was eczema due to teething. Well, I know you are teething because of the clinginess, drool and crankiness, but it amazes me you can have a skin rash from it! At least it doesn’t seem to bother you. Otherwise, you are growing well, and are currently in 18 month clothing. You have been in that for a while, though. Your hair is long enough for me to really want to put a clip in it. I don’t think anything would stay in that silky mane of yours, though! You have a runny nose right now, but hopefully that won’t develop into anything more!
I started a new job this month. I now head to work 2 nights a week while Dada puts you to bed. I’m not sure if you even notice I’m gone, but I’m really glad you get the extra one-on-one time with him. I think it is good for both of you. Having a job outside of the house, even a very part-time job like I have now, has definitely been good for me. I admit, it feels good to get out and be independent for a few hours. It makes me look forward to coming home to you and Dada that much more. It is true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Getting this job will also enable me to keep my skills sharp, and has inspired me to be more responsible in other areas of my life too, like with my spiritual disciplines, and getting projects done around the house.
It amazes me how quickly you learn new things. When we give you the remote for the computer, you start clicking buttons and immediately look towards the computer to see what you are accomplishing while you click away. Even when you are on the floor and find the remote, you will crawl towards the computer and check out which podcasts you have pulled up by clicking buttons. Your favorite podcast is the Sesame Street one. You are still obsessed with Elmo, and say his name (“Ell-o!”) when we give you the stuffed Elmo doll. Sometimes I hear you repeating things I’ve said when I didn’t even know you were listening. You usually say Ba-bye anytime I say it, whether it is during a conversation in person or on the phone. Other times, you just mimic the sounds and consonants of the last few words I said. It is incredible to watch you learn language. You actually made a big leap in language this month with your signing. You finally used a sign when communicating with us: “please”. We just kept saying it to you and showing it to you and helping you sign it yourself, and you finally repeated it on your own. It was so exciting!! Now you have a way to ask for something that doesn’t involve whining and crying. It is so nice to see you ask “please” for food, getting picked up, or even for help getting a toy. You also learned to sign “milk” for nursing. The only hard part now is figuring out what you are asking “please” for.
You also learned a few animal sounds. When we ask you what an elephant says, you usually give us a raspberry noise, and if we ask you what the pigeon says, you say “uh-Oh”. The pigeon noise comes from one of your favorite books: Don’t let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. Towards the end of it, the pigeon says, “uh-oh” when he thinks he may be in trouble for trying to get you to let him drive the bus. It is pretty cute to hear you make the connection and say “uh-oh” when we ask about a pigeon. We are also currently working on lion and cat noises.
This month we hit another difficult step in this cooperative learning process of parenting/growing up: discipline. This has been another struggle as Dada and I sought to truly do what is right and best for you. Up until this point we really have just been managing you like a puppy, confining you to “baby-safe” areas, and moving you physically if you got into mischief. Of course, you don’t know it is mischief, you are just exploring your world–much like a puppy would! Well, this month, we noticed that you made that leap from curiosity to disobedience. It was inevitable. The only way to prevent you from disobeying was to have no rules to obey, ever. While that may be something Dada and I could pretend at if we chose to, we live in a world full of rules that you would have to obey, sooner or later. It seems there are rules for everything, from social interactions to playing games, and from personal hygiene to crossing the street. A big part of our job as your Mama and Dada is to teach you about those rules, and how to play this big game called Life as we know it. So, until you can understand the rules yourself, Mama and Dada are going to have to tell you what they are. You are going to have to trust and obey us, even when you don’t know why. Whenever I hesitate to enforce discipline for something you have disobeyed me about, like touching some wires, or grabbing at the dog’s chew bone, I try to envision what could happen to you if you didn’t obey us at a crucial moment crossing the street or touching a strange dog. Those mental pictures are enough to help me try to make you understand that you need to listen to what we say. I don’t pretend to know it all, but Dada and I feel that loving discipline is better for you than ignoring you and treating you like a puppy for the rest of your childhood. We want to honor your ability to learn about things and make moral decisions. We want to keep you safe while you learn. And most of all, we want you to grow up into a happy, healthy girl who has large reserves of both self-control and curiosity.
Lot of love,
Mommy
No one wants a Memoirs of a Geisha book for free? Either no one reads this blog, everyone is too shy to comment (except for you, Kyleen :), or no one wants this book. Hm. Oh well, I will just donate them to the library!
Dearest Dahlia,
This month has been a great start to the year. You are eating more, moving around more, and basically becoming more grown up and independent in different ways every day.
Although you were very sick for the first 2 weeks of this month, at least it was just a nasty cold (or, as our pediatrician called it: bronchiolitis). Yes, you came down with your virus a few days after the New Year. You had a constantly running nose and a deep cough. We weren’t as concerned about this as we were about your fever last month because this cold hardly slowed you down. You weren’t clingy or lethargic like you were with the fever. I think the coughing woke you up a little bit at night, but you didn’t lose much sleep over it. I probably lost more sleep listening to your congested breathing, and making sure your nose was clear enough for you to be comfortable. If you seemed too congested, I would come in and wash the snot out with some saline and a bulb syringe. We both enjoyed those times, let me tell you!
In the two weeks since your cough has gone, we have worked a lot on your night sleep. Of course, this is a silly statement because really, when have we not worked on you sleep? Ever since you were born, your sleep patterns have been a complex dance between what you want, what you need and what Daddy and I want. Daddy and I have learned a lot over the months about helping you to sleep better at night, but every time you have a major change in your life, your sleep habits change too. For instance, you have recently learned how to stand up against your crib rails, and because of that, you have a hard time falling back asleep. Also, after your illnesses, we had all gotten used to getting up more frequently at night. That’s OK, because it is part of a learning process for all of us: Mommy and Daddy are learning how to be consistent, work together to tend you in the wee hours, and teach you how to fall asleep, and you are hopefully learning that you are safe, Mommy and Daddy will always be here when you need them, and how to fall asleep when you are tired. After two weeks of hard work, you actually started sleeping ALL NIGHT! I know definitions of “sleeping through the night” vary according to who you talk to, but this is different. This is sleeping from when we put you down at 7PM till the morning around 5-7AM. Crazy, huh? We are all thrilled at this new development, and needless to say, there are many smiles in the morning when we come in and pick you up. You cuddle close for a minute, then lift your head suddenly, take a deep breath, and quietly say something important like: “Da-da-da-da” or “Ba-ba-ba”. You used to also wave energetically at Christmas bear at the top of your wardrobe as soon as we picked you up, but you have stopped that lately. Your sweet little habits seem to change more quickly than I can capture them on paper or film.
Your sense of humor has developed a lot this month, too. You have learned how to play hide ‘n seek by crouching down behind whatever you are using to stand against. Daddy and I ask, “Where’d she go?”, wait for you to reappear, and then exclaim, “There she is!”. At first, this game would have you laughing out loud, but now we only get smiles and squeals. I think the reason you love that game so much is that you get to decide the comedic timing of when you will reappear. Another thing you like to control is when Mommy and Daddy say, “So big!”. You have trained us to say this when you throw your hands up in the air. We have, in turn, trained you to throw your hands up when we say, “How big is Dahlia?”. Another thing you just learned a few days ago is how to clap. This is so exciting! You will clap your little hands together and squeal with happiness. You have learned to clap when we sing, ‘If you’re happy and you know it’. You will also “bop” to music if you like the beat, or if we say, “Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy”. It is freakin’ adorable when you rock out. If you are standing, you usually tap one foot like you are dancing. So much fun in one little baby package!
Daddy and I have both agreed that you are much more fun in the evenings at this age. It used to be your melt down time, but now you just seem to get more and more fun as the evening goes on! You have become almost obsessed with stuffed animals this month, which is nice, because I was actually wondering if all those toys would ever be of any use except to collect dust. You love to be rocked to sleep with a stuffed bear in your arms, or drag one across the floor as you explore the room. Grandma bought you a stuffed Elmo last week, and I must say that you have spent literally hours gazing adoringly at his big plastic eyes and squealing your love to him. I can’t wait until we can channel that love into useful things, like learning from the video, ‘Elmo’s Potty Time’.
While you aren’t quite walking on your own yet, I know it will be soon. You are better at standing on your own, and you are cruising like crazy. You can walk if you are supported by our hands. You also love to push things like boxes, chairs, and baby walker toys across the floor and walk behind them. You are becoming braver every day in what you try to do and where you explore. Daddy and I have had to start adding fun things around the house like toilet bowl lid protectors and cabinet locks.
Your vocalizations are much more interesting and complex this month. You can sit on the floor and jabber to yourself about the book you are “reading”. It is really cute. You love your touch and feel books, where you can poke at a little patch of wool or fuzz or velvet on each page. I have to say, though, my absolute favorite thing about this month has been that you learned to say “Mama”. This absolutely melts my heart every time you say it. Usually, it is when you are the most miserable and sleepy or hungry. You crawl over, pull up on my leg, rest your head against my thigh and say miserably, “Mama, mama”. Sometimes, when you are tired, you head straight over to a dog bed instead, and lay down on that. How many times in this letter have I said how cute you are? It is hard to resist you, little one. I am glad I get to hang out with you every day. I could seriously go on and on about you and your new abilities. We haven’t even touched on food yet! I think these letters get longer each month, though, so I will work on being a bit more concise. While the letters grow a little bit each month, our love for you grows lots! I didn’t think it possible, but we love you more each day. It is kind of like how I feel about being married to Daddy-it gets better and better each day. Yeah. Kind of like that
Love,
Mama
Ken and I have decided to take the month of January to eat only vegetarian foods. (Thanks to mom and dad for the cookbook World Vegetarian, and to Russ and Sarah for the Pyrex that make storing pre-measured and chopped ingredients easy-a crucial part to simultaneously making fresh food and dealing with a pre-toddler during the dinner hours. Thanks also to Ken for agreeing to forego meat for a month with me!)
This decision was a result of several things. There is little question that a (proper)vegetarian diet is more healthy, environmentally sound, and economically feasible. There is also a moral issue somewhere in there. While I am not a PETA member, by any means, I am concerned about how my food was treated when it was alive. I’ve often said that I am not a vegetarian, but a trip to a slaughterhouse would probably push me over the edge. Well, with the convenience of the internet, and a little filtering for inflammatory sources, I don’t really need to physically head to the slaughterhouse for the proof that our meat is mass-produced, ill-cared for, fed trash, and over-treated with steroids and antibiotics. So our family doesn’t normally eat a large amount of meat anyway. The meat that we do eat is usually organic-free-range-grass-fed-granola-type (AKA extremely expensive).
Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think that eating meat in general is morally wrong or evil in any way. Biologically speaking, we are opportunistic omnivores- we can process and digest most any foods. So in some ways, we are meant to eat meat. However, phenotypically speaking, the structure of our teeth seems to imply that we are better equipped to handle plant food. Compare our teeth with that of a dog, who is also an opportunistic omnivore (that is one of the reasons that domestication and companionship happened so easily with this species). A close look at their teeth (and their penchant for chewing bones) shows that their bodies are more equipped to handle a meat based diet. You can learn a lot from an animal’s teeth. All that to say: how can it be wrong to eat meat if we are physically made to eat meat? What I find issue with is the WAY we currently eat meat. It comes in little, sterile, saran-wrapped containers that we buy in climate-controlled supermarkets. Again, there is nothing wrong with convenience, but it tends to remove us from the source of our meals. I want to be responsible for the animals that I consume. I want them to have the most healthy, safe and fulfilling life as possible before they are killed humanely. This picture is a far cry from the life that most of our meat endures before it ends up on the supermarket shelf. So no, I don’t have a moral issue with eating meat. I guess I have a moral issue with not taking responsibility for or caring about how our food animals are treated. In the best possible situation, my family would be able to consume “honest” meat that was raised by us in our own backyard before being humanely killed and prepared for our dinner. Some people can do that, but we cannot currently accomplish this ideal.
My biggest problem about how we personally eat meat is that it is mostly out of laziness. Instead of planning a meal for my family, I just buy what is familiar and easy for me: chopped meat, chicken breasts, steaks. I’m used to making quick meals with these things. It takes more effort to plan and buy fresh vegetables or to cook a new recipe I’m not familiar with. This month is meant to help me eat away at that barrier of familiarity. I want to be as comfortable whipping up some spicy lentils and a salad as I am with making pasta with meat sauce.
I have had a lot of fun making some new and ethnic recipes this past week. We’ve had lentils with gingery spinach and crispy onions, naan, and a curried indian vegetable stew with rice. I’ve learned that I can’t buy tamarind or fenugreek seeds at Whole Foods, I have to go to an Indian market for that. I’ve also learned that I should probably wear gloves the next time I chop jalapeno peppers. Seriously, I didn’t even think to wash my hands afterwards, and various parts of my hands and face were burning all night. And all the next day. 36 hours later, I can still feel some jalepeno juice burning my finger under my thumbnail.
Here’s to a tasty month!
Dahlia has had a cold (or an URI- for those of you who want to be technical) for the past 3 days. It feels like she just got over her fever, although that happened 3 weeks ago. She has had a minor cold before, but that was fairly low-key and passed quickly. This one is more aggressive. Dahlia has had trouble breathing through her nose because of the congestion, and she has a nice junky cough. (I guess you could also call it a productive cough).
Well, because of her congestion, I spent some quality time at 3AM this morning “hosing her nose” (lavaging, really. OK, sorry, I’m done being technical–can you tell I’ve treated too many sick puppy store puppies? But thats a whole ‘nother post…), as Dr. Sears likes to call it in his Baby Book. For those inquiring minds, this basically means squirting saline up her nose and then sucking out long strands of snot with a small turkey baster. Don’t forget the small detail that makes this process even more appealing: the screaming baby. Apparently, Dahlia doesn’t appreciate me suctioning the snot out of her nose. What can I say? At least at the end of the ordeal, she could breath enough to nurse back to sleep.
I have to say the snot is the best part of the cold. For now it is mostly clear and only slightly viscous, so it forms constant little rivers down her upper lip. Because of this, she is often licking at it or grabbing at it with her fingers and smearing it all over her face and hair. She manages to coat pretty much anything in the vicinity with snot. She accomplishes this directly, by pulling toys or various objects to her face to rub the snot on it, or by pulling herself up on legs, chairs and shelves to rub the snot on them. If this fails to coat the area satisfactorily enough, she simply employs the sneezing tactic. That pretty much covers it. She is also swallowing quite a bit, I’m sure, because this morning she puked after a good coughing fit. Poor little girl.
She is otherwise cheery and sociable, though, so for the moment I’m not concerned about taking her to the Doctor. I’m sure all of that will change the moment the weekend hits and the office closes.
*sigh*
Isn’t parenthood fun?
Dearest little Dahlia,
So you are now 9 months old. You are well on your way to being a year old, but I have to remind myself that there is still 1/4 of the year to go. You have proven that you can change in many, many ways in 3 month’s time. Not only are you another month older, but you have now seen a new year-2008! I am actually a bit sad to see 2007 go. Normally the New Year is more exciting than sad for me, but this past year was incredible, thanks to you! I will always look back on what a sweet time we had together, getting to know one another in 2007, the year of Dahlia.
As always, this past month was full of change for you. Your communication skills are getting much better. You now raise your arms when you want to be picked up out of the Excersaucer or high chair. You say “Dada” and “Ba-Bye” regularly. While you have been waving for a long time, I am now convinced you know that it means hello or goodbye. Your hair is longer than ever. Soon I will not be able to resist putting barrettes in it! Although you haven’t really gained more than a pound or two since you were 6 months old, you are gaining inches, and growing into all that baby chub. In fact, soon you won’t even be a baby, you will be a toddler! You are eating more and more new foods. Some notable new ones this month are: melba toast, cut up grapes, cauliflower, and freeze dried apple bits. Your first Christmas was fun. You collected quite a few new toys (which of course, you desperately needed…). I think you enjoyed the parties with all the excitement and other babies to play with. We did a lot of traveling to see Grandma and Poppy, Aunt Gail and Aunt Lisa. As always, you were a complete gem in the car–sleeping or playing quietly. You have also been very flexible about sleep times and napping. The funny thing is that parents seem to want it both ways: scheduled sleep when life is normal, and flexible sleep during Holidays or crazy times. Your sleep has been changing a lot this month with your fever, the Holidays, and your new skills that seem to keep you awake and excited at night. I’m just rolling with it and trying not to help you develop a night-waking habit. I think when things settle down this month, you will fall into a better schedule. I’m not too concerned about it at this point.
Not only are you crawling much better, but you are even “off-roading” now. Toys, barriers and bodies are no problem for you now. You simply go over, under, or across whatever you encounter. I am really grateful you have become interested in the larger scope of “things you can get into” since it helps take your focus off of eating carpet lint and crumbs. You have mastered pulling up on things, and your favorite things to pull up on are mommy and daddy’s legs. You also enjoy pulling up on the entertainment center (to get to the DVD player), chairs, the bookcase, the coffee table (so many fun things to pull off!), your crib railing, or anything about that height. Grandma and Poppy got you a walker toy for Christmas, and I told them that you would certainly be using it soon. You took my words to heart, and after Daddy put it together the next day, you were off and walking with it! I don’t doubt that you will be walking independently by next month’s letter. Even now, you are putting almost no weight on me when you use me for support to stand. You are “cruising” from one object to another while standing, and sometimes you even let go of your support and stand, momentarily, on your own! Of course, this is quickly followed by you falling on your little rear on your own. Good thing you have lots of padding and a diaper on
Of course, all of this moving around has led to several instances of falls, bumps and bruises. You do bruise as easily as I do, unfortunately. Your skin is just as pale as mine. However, your bones and skull must be made of rubber. Either that, or you are a devout Stoic. I am amazed at how you take most bumps and blows in stride. A week ago, you were pulling up on my leg, lost your balance and fell backwards against the edge of the desk. Adrenaline immediately pumping, I scooped you up and braced for a difficult recovery. You cried for about 3 seconds, then squirmed in my arms to get down and play again. Later on in the week, you were pulling up on your Excersaucer, which is unstable, and it whirled you around and into the front of the oven door. You literally bounced off of it. Again, I swooped in and picked you up to comfort you and survey any damage. I don’t think you even cried that time. I am learning that your mood, the time of day, and my reaction to a fall factor greatly into how you will ultimately react to it. Who knew babies were so indestructible?
You did, however, have a moment, or rather a weekend, of weakness, this month. One Friday night, as I was putting you to sleep, I noticed you were unusually cranky and fussy. I was concerned that you weren’t feeling well. Sure enough, when I went to you at 3AM, you felt very warm to the touch. Hoping it was just the stuffy room, I nursed you back to sleep and left the door open for the rest of the night. However, in the morning, your temperature was 101.7. I went straight to the Sears Baby Book and read up on fevers. I also, of course, did some research online. I decided that, since you weren’t showing any other troubling symptoms, we should just let it follow its course, and try to help your body cope by giving you plenty of fluids and rest. I called your pediatrician, who was out of office. I contacted the back-up Doctor, and they referred me to the ER without any clarification. Apparently, a baby with a fever and any kind of lethargy = pawn it off the the ER. (in my opinion, it had more to do with insurance issues) I called the expert: Grandma. Finally, Daddy, Grandma and I decided that we would not go to the ER. It was a difficult decision and a nerve-wracking weekend as your fever spiked and dropped, at times reaching as high as 104.4! Even though I hate using too many medications, we went through almost an entire bottle of baby Tylenol. We were at the Doctor first thing Monday morning, and he told us we had done the right thing keeping you out of the ER. He said they would most likely have done several unnecessary, intrusive things like taking blood, placing an IV and urinary catheter “just in case” and then doing exactly what we had done at home: give Tylenol and keep an eye on it. He said you most likely had a virus, possibly Roseola, although we never saw the tell-tale rash that usually accompanies that one. It was a scary time, but you pulled through so well. You never lost your appetite, and you slept a lot, despite waking up frequently. We enjoyed having you cuddle so much, since that isn’t normally on your schedule of things to do. And so I learner another lesson in parenting: when dealing with a fever, treat the child, not the thermometer.
I am glad that trusting my instinct was the right thing to do with that virus. I know it was only the first of many illnesses we will deal with together. I hope and pray that I will continue to make good decisions for you while it is my responsibility to do so. Daddy and I love you so much, Dahlia. I hope that you grow up knowing that. I look forward to all the new and exciting adventures we will have together in this new year!
Love,
Mommy
The past few nights, we have been putting photo christmas cards together after Dahlia goes to sleep. Every few cards, one of us inevitably stops, stares at the photo and sighs, “Can we just go wake her up to play with her?”. The same thing happens if we allow the computer to go to screensaver and watch the photos roll by. We just can’t stop talking about how cute she is, reminiscing about her latest adventures in development, and wanting to go in and cuddle her when she is too sleepy to fend us off. We also mimic her cute baby-isms to each other. I guess you would say we just can’t live without her.
OK, anyone who has a baby knows that they love to play with (aka suck on, reduce to as many small pieces as possible) whatever WE play with. If you look around, most adults have a favorite shiny toy called a cell phone. Babies learn so much by just watching our behavior! You may have heard that cell phone radiation is bad for us, and worse for our kids. I had read enough about that to convince me not to give Dahlia my cell phone to play with. However, the power of “the look” or more recently, “the mini-tantrum” should not be underestimated, and sometimes I still give in and allow her to fondle the shiny phone. How can I deprive her of something that makes her so happy? I’ve just come across another good reason to keep the cell phones away: baby saliva and cell phone batteries don’t mix well. My late cell phone had its battery die suddenly last month, so I am using Ken’s old phone this month until my Verizon contract will allow a new phone in January. Strangely enough, this phone has been acting weird when I try to charge it lately. I took a close look at the charger contact on the phone today and saw lots of green corrosion. Splendid. I guess my last phone’s battery didn’t die so mysteriously after all….
‘