Well, Little One, we have made it through 12 months together. There have been rough spots, but more than enough joy, laughter and sweet times to make up for them. It is so difficult for me to remember clearly the time before you came into our lives. Maybe because it was so boring? Who knows. All I know is my present happiness as a complete family with you and Dada, and I am content in that.

As always, so much has happened this past month that I am astounded when I look back and see how different you were just a few weeks ago! I guess the big thing is WALKING. You blew by this milestone with hardly a glance and a nod. It seems one day you were grabbing everything for support, and the next day you were practically running! Seriously, I cannot turn my back for more than a few seconds, and you can make it to the other side of the apt. and back. Good thing we baby-proofed because unless I follow behind you constantly, you are impossible to keep in sight! Dahlia Joy Walker officially took her first steps on March 11, 2008. :) I’m so glad I got it on camera too! Since I feel like I miss documenting so much, I am so grateful for what I do get.

This month was busy! I was working a lot of evenings, and I am loving it. Also, there were a few holidays this month. You enjoyed your first corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day. I wasn’t brave enough to give you cabbage. Easter also happened so early this year that it fell a week before your birthday! So it felt like your first Easter, even though it was officially your second one. We spent Easter at our church in NYC, then went out to have a nice dinner with Poppy and Grandma. We had a lot of fun, and I loved buying you a beautiful dress. And of course there was that huge Holiday on the 30th–your Birthday! We had the party near here in Independence Park. Over 30 friends and family braved the sunny but chilly weather to come celebrate you! I made you an Elmo cupcake cake, and we had a blast!

Since I am a little late with this letter, I am going to cheat and tell you about some things up to this day. For instance, I gave you your first “hair cut” today. Although to call it that is to use the phrase very loosely. I really just trimmed your bangs a bit. I bought some hair clips a few weeks ago, which look really cute, but your hair was getting so long in front it started bothering me. Now I finally understand all those times that my grandmother (your great-grandmother) would look at me and tsk over my bangs hanging in my eyes when I was a young girl. I was always so puzzled as to why it should bother her, let alone me!

You also have lots of new teeth! In one month’s time, you doubled the amount of teeth you have! Now there are 4 on top and 4 on bottom. The last 2 on top came out almost simultaneously with the first 2, and the last 2 on bottom just came out yesterday. You have certainly been clingy and cranky enough to have been cutting teeth. I admit that it is really cute when you bring books over to me and hand them to me so I can read them to you, though. I love that you love books already. Definitely a Posegate (ask your Uncle Russell for some stories on sneaking book reading in after bedtime).

A new favorite game is to come up to us with any object and hold it out for us to take. When we take it and say, “Thank you!”. You wait a second, and then sign “Please” to ask for it back. When we give it back, we try to get you to say “Thank you” too, but mostly you don’t yet. That’s fine, though. You have learned so many new signs this month already. You now use “Please”, “Milk”, “Nap”, “More”, “All Done”, “Eat”, and sometimes “Thank you” or “Book”. You also shake your head “No” quite a bit and have started pointing at things. Your communication skills are blossoming daily. Today you were getting on towards nap time, so you were kind of cranky, and were begging for a bit of my ice cream. I gave you a fingerful and put the dish away. Shortly afterwards, you came back over and started whining and crying. I asked what you wanted, and you just kept crying, almost out of control. I asked if you wanted a nap (you usually sign to me when you need one—amazing, right?) and you put your fist to your cheek, which for you means “eat”. I thought you were just confused and asked again. Again, fist to the cheek. Very seriously, looking intently in my eyes, you did it one more time. I finally realized you were asking for more ice cream. Wow. Why didn’t I think of that sooner? Gotta love sign language.

Your repertoire of animal sounds has grown too. This is very important, of course, because of all the animals in your books and toys. How else can we identify them, if not by the sound they make? (It is really hard to teach rabbit) You are doing well with your sleep habits, as you have been for a while now. You enjoy cuddling up on your side with a favorite white soft blanket. You used to always sleep on your tummy, but now that is changing. The rash on your back cleared up when your top teeth finally came in. There are still bits here and there that get better and worse when you are teething or not, but lotion seems to help. You also suffered your first black eye when you stumbled and fell against your toy basket. I almost forgot about it until I looked at the pictures, since it healed so quickly!

Well, we are getting to the end of this letter, and subsequently, the end of my 12 month Dear Dahlia series to you. Maybe I will continue every other month, or every 6 months. I don’t know for sure, but I have really enjoyed these opportunities to let you know what happened in your first year of life, and I would like to keep them going. As I said at the beginning of this letter, this year has been an emotional mix with just a bit of everything thrown in. One thing is for sure, it has been a wild ride so far, and Dada and I are loving it! This song came to mind today as I was rocking you, and as I sang it to you I thought it would be a good one to close this letter with!

Baby, Baby / I’m taken with the notion / to love you with the sweetest of devotion.
Baby, Baby / My tender love will flow from / the bluest sky to the deepest ocean.
Stop for a minute, Baby, I’m so glad you’re mine. . . Oh yeah.
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion, Baby, I realize there’s just no getting over you.

Here’s to another year of my dearest Dahlia!
Love Always,
Mommy

Well, little girl, I sit here with you on my lap, and I can honestly say you aren’t so little anymore!! I am thrilled that you will be a whole year old this month. Wow. This has been a busy month! You are still working on that walking thing. I was so sure that you would be walking weeks ago. Hah! Maybe I will learn some day to not be so sure of when you will do what. You are certainly getting around with more and more agility. Today you enjoyed pushing your walker around with the stuffed animal in front, kind of like a stroller. Then you turned it around and tried to climb on it yourself. You aren’t taking more than a tiny step or two on your own between objects, but you confidently push your walker around, or walk places while balancing on Mama or Dada’s hands. Of course, this month was your first Valentine’s Day too. Dada got you a cute little knitted dog whose nose you love to munch on.

Your are eating most anything nowadays, and you can eat little pieces of whatever Dada and I are eating. You are also quick to let us know what you do and don’t like. You are not above begging for bits of things that we probably shouldn’t be giving you, like croissants or muffins. I am going to be going away in May for 5 days to a Training Course, so Dada and Grandma are going to take care of you. This plan sparked my decision to put you on more of a schedule for feeding/nursing. You had been nursing pretty much as often as you wanted (every 2-3 hours) until about a month ago. I decided you would do well nursing 4 times a day: Morning, late morning, early afternoon, and bedtime. You adapted very easily on just the first day of this schedule. You didn’t even cry to nurse, I just made sure you were distracted and fed you a lot of food. Boy can you pack it away! I am starting to understand just how many calories you have been sucking out of me for the past 11 months! I also realized that you had only been snacking when you were nursing before. Now you actually sit down for a serious meal when I nurse you. That schedule has fallen apart the past week or so because of a trip to Ithaca and some teething issues. Thats OK, though. I know it will be easy enough to get back onto it when you feel better.

You got your third and fourth tooth a week and a half ago. Now you have a very sharp set of 4 front teeth! Let me tell you, it has made nursing a little more uncomfortable for me, but hopefully they will dull a bit soon. Maybe I will give you a wood block to chew on :) You have a dry skin rash on your back that has developed from a small spot to cover most of your back and small spots on your arms and legs over the past month. The doctor said it was eczema due to teething. Well, I know you are teething because of the clinginess, drool and crankiness, but it amazes me you can have a skin rash from it! At least it doesn’t seem to bother you. Otherwise, you are growing well, and are currently in 18 month clothing. You have been in that for a while, though. Your hair is long enough for me to really want to put a clip in it. I don’t think anything would stay in that silky mane of yours, though! You have a runny nose right now, but hopefully that won’t develop into anything more!

I started a new job this month. I now head to work 2 nights a week while Dada puts you to bed. I’m not sure if you even notice I’m gone, but I’m really glad you get the extra one-on-one time with him. I think it is good for both of you. Having a job outside of the house, even a very part-time job like I have now, has definitely been good for me. I admit, it feels good to get out and be independent for a few hours. It makes me look forward to coming home to you and Dada that much more. It is true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Getting this job will also enable me to keep my skills sharp, and has inspired me to be more responsible in other areas of my life too, like with my spiritual disciplines, and getting projects done around the house.

It amazes me how quickly you learn new things. When we give you the remote for the computer, you start clicking buttons and immediately look towards the computer to see what you are accomplishing while you click away. Even when you are on the floor and find the remote, you will crawl towards the computer and check out which podcasts you have pulled up by clicking buttons. Your favorite podcast is the Sesame Street one. You are still obsessed with Elmo, and say his name (”Ell-o!”) when we give you the stuffed Elmo doll. Sometimes I hear you repeating things I’ve said when I didn’t even know you were listening. You usually say Ba-bye anytime I say it, whether it is during a conversation in person or on the phone. Other times, you just mimic the sounds and consonants of the last few words I said. It is incredible to watch you learn language. You actually made a big leap in language this month with your signing. You finally used a sign when communicating with us: “please”. We just kept saying it to you and showing it to you and helping you sign it yourself, and you finally repeated it on your own. It was so exciting!! Now you have a way to ask for something that doesn’t involve whining and crying. It is so nice to see you ask “please” for food, getting picked up, or even for help getting a toy. You also learned to sign “milk” for nursing. The only hard part now is figuring out what you are asking “please” for.

You also learned a few animal sounds. When we ask you what an elephant says, you usually give us a raspberry noise, and if we ask you what the pigeon says, you say “uh-Oh”. The pigeon noise comes from one of your favorite books: Don’t let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. Towards the end of it, the pigeon says, “uh-oh” when he thinks he may be in trouble for trying to get you to let him drive the bus. It is pretty cute to hear you make the connection and say “uh-oh” when we ask about a pigeon. We are also currently working on lion and cat noises.

This month we hit another difficult step in this cooperative learning process of parenting/growing up: discipline. This has been another struggle as Dada and I sought to truly do what is right and best for you. Up until this point we really have just been managing you like a puppy, confining you to “baby-safe” areas, and moving you physically if you got into mischief. Of course, you don’t know it is mischief, you are just exploring your world–much like a puppy would! Well, this month, we noticed that you made that leap from curiosity to disobedience. It was inevitable. The only way to prevent you from disobeying was to have no rules to obey, ever. While that may be something Dada and I could pretend at if we chose to, we live in a world full of rules that you would have to obey, sooner or later. It seems there are rules for everything, from social interactions to playing games, and from personal hygiene to crossing the street. A big part of our job as your Mama and Dada is to teach you about those rules, and how to play this big game called Life as we know it. So, until you can understand the rules yourself, Mama and Dada are going to have to tell you what they are. You are going to have to trust and obey us, even when you don’t know why. Whenever I hesitate to enforce discipline for something you have disobeyed me about, like touching some wires, or grabbing at the dog’s chew bone, I try to envision what could happen to you if you didn’t obey us at a crucial moment crossing the street or touching a strange dog. Those mental pictures are enough to help me try to make you understand that you need to listen to what we say. I don’t pretend to know it all, but Dada and I feel that loving discipline is better for you than ignoring you and treating you like a puppy for the rest of your childhood. We want to honor your ability to learn about things and make moral decisions. We want to keep you safe while you learn. And most of all, we want you to grow up into a happy, healthy girl who has large reserves of both self-control and curiosity.

Lot of love,
Mommy

Well, because of her congestion, I spent some quality time at 3AM this morning “hosing her nose” (lavaging, really. OK, sorry, I’m done being technical–can you tell I’ve treated too many sick puppy store puppies? But thats a whole ‘nother post…), as Dr. Sears likes to call it in his Baby Book. For those inquiring minds, this basically means squirting saline up her nose and then sucking out long strands of snot with a small turkey baster. Don’t forget the small detail that makes this process even more appealing: the screaming baby. Apparently, Dahlia doesn’t appreciate me suctioning the snot out of her nose. What can I say? At least at the end of the ordeal, she could breath enough to nurse back to sleep.

I have to say the snot is the best part of the cold. For now it is mostly clear and only slightly viscous, so it forms constant little rivers down her upper lip. Because of this, she is often licking at it or grabbing at it with her fingers and smearing it all over her face and hair. She manages to coat pretty much anything in the vicinity with snot. She accomplishes this directly, by pulling toys or various objects to her face to rub the snot on it, or by pulling herself up on legs, chairs and shelves to rub the snot on them. If this fails to coat the area satisfactorily enough, she simply employs the sneezing tactic. That pretty much covers it. She is also swallowing quite a bit, I’m sure, because this morning she puked after a good coughing fit. Poor little girl.

She is otherwise cheery and sociable, though, so for the moment I’m not concerned about taking her to the Doctor. I’m sure all of that will change the moment the weekend hits and the office closes.
*sigh*
Isn’t parenthood fun?

So you are now 9 months old. You are well on your way to being a year old, but I have to remind myself that there is still 1/4 of the year to go. You have proven that you can change in many, many ways in 3 month’s time. Not only are you another month older, but you have now seen a new year-2008! I am actually a bit sad to see 2007 go. Normally the New Year is more exciting than sad for me, but this past year was incredible, thanks to you! I will always look back on what a sweet time we had together, getting to know one another in 2007, the year of Dahlia.

As always, this past month was full of change for you. Your communication skills are getting much better. You now raise your arms when you want to be picked up out of the Excersaucer or high chair. You say “Dada” and “Ba-Bye” regularly. While you have been waving for a long time, I am now convinced you know that it means hello or goodbye. Your hair is longer than ever. Soon I will not be able to resist putting barrettes in it! Although you haven’t really gained more than a pound or two since you were 6 months old, you are gaining inches, and growing into all that baby chub. In fact, soon you won’t even be a baby, you will be a toddler! You are eating more and more new foods. Some notable new ones this month are: melba toast, cut up grapes, cauliflower, and freeze dried apple bits. Your first Christmas was fun. You collected quite a few new toys (which of course, you desperately needed…). I think you enjoyed the parties with all the excitement and other babies to play with. We did a lot of traveling to see Grandma and Poppy, Aunt Gail and Aunt Lisa. As always, you were a complete gem in the car–sleeping or playing quietly. You have also been very flexible about sleep times and napping. The funny thing is that parents seem to want it both ways: scheduled sleep when life is normal, and flexible sleep during Holidays or crazy times. Your sleep has been changing a lot this month with your fever, the Holidays, and your new skills that seem to keep you awake and excited at night. I’m just rolling with it and trying not to help you develop a night-waking habit. I think when things settle down this month, you will fall into a better schedule. I’m not too concerned about it at this point.

Not only are you crawling much better, but you are even “off-roading” now. Toys, barriers and bodies are no problem for you now. You simply go over, under, or across whatever you encounter. I am really grateful you have become interested in the larger scope of “things you can get into” since it helps take your focus off of eating carpet lint and crumbs. You have mastered pulling up on things, and your favorite things to pull up on are mommy and daddy’s legs. You also enjoy pulling up on the entertainment center (to get to the DVD player), chairs, the bookcase, the coffee table (so many fun things to pull off!), your crib railing, or anything about that height. Grandma and Poppy got you a walker toy for Christmas, and I told them that you would certainly be using it soon. You took my words to heart, and after Daddy put it together the next day, you were off and walking with it! I don’t doubt that you will be walking independently by next month’s letter. Even now, you are putting almost no weight on me when you use me for support to stand. You are “cruising” from one object to another while standing, and sometimes you even let go of your support and stand, momentarily, on your own! Of course, this is quickly followed by you falling on your little rear on your own. Good thing you have lots of padding and a diaper on :)

Of course, all of this moving around has led to several instances of falls, bumps and bruises. You do bruise as easily as I do, unfortunately. Your skin is just as pale as mine. However, your bones and skull must be made of rubber. Either that, or you are a devout Stoic. I am amazed at how you take most bumps and blows in stride. A week ago, you were pulling up on my leg, lost your balance and fell backwards against the edge of the desk. Adrenaline immediately pumping, I scooped you up and braced for a difficult recovery. You cried for about 3 seconds, then squirmed in my arms to get down and play again. Later on in the week, you were pulling up on your Excersaucer, which is unstable, and it whirled you around and into the front of the oven door. You literally bounced off of it. Again, I swooped in and picked you up to comfort you and survey any damage. I don’t think you even cried that time. I am learning that your mood, the time of day, and my reaction to a fall factor greatly into how you will ultimately react to it. Who knew babies were so indestructible?

You did, however, have a moment, or rather a weekend, of weakness, this month. One Friday night, as I was putting you to sleep, I noticed you were unusually cranky and fussy. I was concerned that you weren’t feeling well. Sure enough, when I went to you at 3AM, you felt very warm to the touch. Hoping it was just the stuffy room, I nursed you back to sleep and left the door open for the rest of the night. However, in the morning, your temperature was 101.7. I went straight to the Sears Baby Book and read up on fevers. I also, of course, did some research online. I decided that, since you weren’t showing any other troubling symptoms, we should just let it follow its course, and try to help your body cope by giving you plenty of fluids and rest. I called your pediatrician, who was out of office. I contacted the back-up Doctor, and they referred me to the ER without any clarification. Apparently, a baby with a fever and any kind of lethargy = pawn it off the the ER. (in my opinion, it had more to do with insurance issues) I called the expert: Grandma. Finally, Daddy, Grandma and I decided that we would not go to the ER. It was a difficult decision and a nerve-wracking weekend as your fever spiked and dropped, at times reaching as high as 104.4! Even though I hate using too many medications, we went through almost an entire bottle of baby Tylenol. We were at the Doctor first thing Monday morning, and he told us we had done the right thing keeping you out of the ER. He said they would most likely have done several unnecessary, intrusive things like taking blood, placing an IV and urinary catheter “just in case” and then doing exactly what we had done at home: give Tylenol and keep an eye on it. He said you most likely had a virus, possibly Roseola, although we never saw the tell-tale rash that usually accompanies that one. It was a scary time, but you pulled through so well. You never lost your appetite, and you slept a lot, despite waking up frequently. We enjoyed having you cuddle so much, since that isn’t normally on your schedule of things to do. And so I learner another lesson in parenting: when dealing with a fever, treat the child, not the thermometer.

I am glad that trusting my instinct was the right thing to do with that virus. I know it was only the first of many illnesses we will deal with together. I hope and pray that I will continue to make good decisions for you while it is my responsibility to do so. Daddy and I love you so much, Dahlia. I hope that you grow up knowing that. I look forward to all the new and exciting adventures we will have together in this new year!

Love,
Mommy

‘

So much to look forward to!

You are officially a mobile baby! This month you were busy learning how to get around. There were far too many important things for you to see and do for you to remain stationary for too long. Here are the landmark dates:
- The week of 11-12-07 you began crawling
- On 11-20-07, you started sitting up on your own
The crawling began as more of a slow process, but you learned how to sit up on your own practically overnight! I never got that leash and harness I was hoping to use once you became mobile, so my job description expanded fairly quickly. Sitting down to get something done is not possible unless I confine you to your Exersaucer. While you still like the stationary toy, it definitely doesn’t entertain you nearly as long as it used to. I mean, c’mon, standing still is so much more boring that crawling around! It has been fun to see you discover the old toys in a new way, though. You now enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror on the tray, and regularly grin and chuckle at your reflection. You are figuring out how to manipulate some other toys in a new way too, as you get more fine motor control with your hands. My favorite is when you start throwing your weight forward and backward and get the the saucer rocking like one of those seated toys on springs at the playground!

Now that you are crawling, a new world has opened up to you. That world is mostly composed of carpet lint, old forgotten crumbs, dog hair, dog bones, electrical outlets, the exciting contents of low shelves, and, as always, various choking hazards. I am getting very good at reading your body language to see when you have stopped to pick up something and put it in your mouth. I am also getting good at sweeping things out of your mouth when I don’t pick up on your body language fast enough. It seems like I can never vacuum frequently enough, and even when I do, you find random things that we accidentally drop.

The eating is going well. I have continued making purees for you, and you are now eating a good variety of finger foods too. Some new foods that you encountered this month are: small pieces of tofu, pieces of seaweed (I know it sounds weird, but they are both safe finger foods that you can manage to pick up; they are full of great nutrients and help develop your taste for different things), kiwifruit, sugar-free cheerio-type oatie-Os, white potatoes, tomato, and plenty more. Most foods you love, but no matter what it is, when you get the first taste of it, you always have a kind of sour look on your face. Then you generally swallow and open your mouth to beg for more. You are drinking more water too, and I just got you a new sippy cup that is smaller and has handles. You figured out how to drink from it, and you love to chew on the spout too!

We took you to the Baby Sign Language class this month. We had fun learning a few songs to sign with you. We are trying to teach you a few signs to begin with, like “eat”, “more”, “all done” and “hi/bye”. You haven’t done much except wave hi/bye, and we aren’t sure how intentional about that you are. However, you seem to know what “more” and “eat” mean. Last night, when I asked you if you wanted more potatoes, you brightened up, looked at me, and opened your mouth two times in a row. That was great to see your comprehension!

We also went apple picking and to a corn maze this month. It was a nice chilly day, and you enjoyed being outside in the Ergo. You taste tested the apples for us, and it was cute to see you begging to suck on them. This month marked your first Thanksgiving too! You didn’t eat anything too exciting, just some cheerios and a green bean, but you enjoyed being around so much of our family. You are getting so good at sitting in a high chair and amusing yourself, it has become a lot easier to have you join family meals. It is also much more fun going out to eat together. In general, you are just wonderfully easy going and content. For instance, I took you to the auto shop yesterday so we could get some new tires on the car, and after 1 1/2 hours there, you weren’t cranky! Far from it, actually, you were amusing the other cranky customers in the waiting room with your grins. squeals and waves.

People are always asking how you and the dog get along. Most people are concerned (especially if they know Dina is a pit bull). Some are just curious. Dina has always been good with children and babies, and has been in a house with babies before, so I wasn’t too concerned. However, I didn’t want to leave anything to chance since dogs can, even accidentally, seriously harm children. I took a lot of practical steps to get Dina used to the idea that you were good to have around and harmless. I’m so glad to see that you both love each other in your own way. Most interesting is the way you have found to communicate! We knew Dina would inevitably want to lick you. A lot. Initially we made sure we interrupted before you got overwhelmed, but now you have learned that if you want her to stop, you just turn your head away (like when I wipe your face with a washcloth). This is incredible to me because you are essentially talking to her in dog language, and also, she listens to you!! In turn, if she doesn’t want to have you pulling her ears and chewing on her tail, she just walks away. I have to tell you, though, that isn’t too often. She usually prefers to hang around because your presence usually indicates good things for her, and she doesn’t really care about the pulling and chewing and general man-handling. It is so funny to see the dog hang around when you are “working” the kitchen. Even at this young age, you have the decided advantage at food gathering in the kitchen. First of all, you have hands, but most importantly, you have the blessing of the ultimate food givers (Mom and Dad). You crawl around, pulling down bags of granola, or boxes of pasta, and Dina is all like, “I could eat that for you...”

Well, I had originally written how I was so sure you were just about to get a tooth. I mean, really sure this time, not like the other 4 months I had been predicting it! Well, since this letter is a few days late (surprise, surprise!), I can instead announce that you officially HAVE a tooth! Two, even! Your left lower incisor made its appearance 12-1-07, and the lower right incisor followed not far behind on the next day! They are sharp little things, and your bite has become a lot more dangerous lately, but Daddy and I are excited about this new development in your life. Every day I see changes in you, and it is so wonderful to watch you develop into a little girl!

Love,
Mommy