Dear Dahlia,
Well, little girl, I sit here with you on my lap, and I can honestly say you aren’t so little anymore!! I am thrilled that you will be a whole year old this month. Wow. This has been a busy month! You are still working on that walking thing. I was so sure that you would be walking weeks ago. Hah! Maybe I will learn some day to not be so sure of when you will do what. You are certainly getting around with more and more agility. Today you enjoyed pushing your walker around with the stuffed animal in front, kind of like a stroller. Then you turned it around and tried to climb on it yourself. You aren’t taking more than a tiny step or two on your own between objects, but you confidently push your walker around, or walk places while balancing on Mama or Dada’s hands. Of course, this month was your first Valentine’s Day too. Dada got you a cute little knitted dog whose nose you love to munch on.
Your are eating most anything nowadays, and you can eat little pieces of whatever Dada and I are eating. You are also quick to let us know what you do and don’t like. You are not above begging for bits of things that we probably shouldn’t be giving you, like croissants or muffins. I am going to be going away in May for 5 days to a Training Course, so Dada and Grandma are going to take care of you. This plan sparked my decision to put you on more of a schedule for feeding/nursing. You had been nursing pretty much as often as you wanted (every 2-3 hours) until about a month ago. I decided you would do well nursing 4 times a day: Morning, late morning, early afternoon, and bedtime. You adapted very easily on just the first day of this schedule. You didn’t even cry to nurse, I just made sure you were distracted and fed you a lot of food. Boy can you pack it away! I am starting to understand just how many calories you have been sucking out of me for the past 11 months! I also realized that you had only been snacking when you were nursing before. Now you actually sit down for a serious meal when I nurse you. That schedule has fallen apart the past week or so because of a trip to Ithaca and some teething issues. Thats OK, though. I know it will be easy enough to get back onto it when you feel better.
You got your third and fourth tooth a week and a half ago. Now you have a very sharp set of 4 front teeth! Let me tell you, it has made nursing a little more uncomfortable for me, but hopefully they will dull a bit soon. Maybe I will give you a wood block to chew on :) You have a dry skin rash on your back that has developed from a small spot to cover most of your back and small spots on your arms and legs over the past month. The doctor said it was eczema due to teething. Well, I know you are teething because of the clinginess, drool and crankiness, but it amazes me you can have a skin rash from it! At least it doesn’t seem to bother you. Otherwise, you are growing well, and are currently in 18 month clothing. You have been in that for a while, though. Your hair is long enough for me to really want to put a clip in it. I don’t think anything would stay in that silky mane of yours, though! You have a runny nose right now, but hopefully that won’t develop into anything more!
I started a new job this month. I now head to work 2 nights a week while Dada puts you to bed. I’m not sure if you even notice I’m gone, but I’m really glad you get the extra one-on-one time with him. I think it is good for both of you. Having a job outside of the house, even a very part-time job like I have now, has definitely been good for me. I admit, it feels good to get out and be independent for a few hours. It makes me look forward to coming home to you and Dada that much more. It is true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Getting this job will also enable me to keep my skills sharp, and has inspired me to be more responsible in other areas of my life too, like with my spiritual disciplines, and getting projects done around the house.
It amazes me how quickly you learn new things. When we give you the remote for the computer, you start clicking buttons and immediately look towards the computer to see what you are accomplishing while you click away. Even when you are on the floor and find the remote, you will crawl towards the computer and check out which podcasts you have pulled up by clicking buttons. Your favorite podcast is the Sesame Street one. You are still obsessed with Elmo, and say his name (”Ell-o!”) when we give you the stuffed Elmo doll. Sometimes I hear you repeating things I’ve said when I didn’t even know you were listening. You usually say Ba-bye anytime I say it, whether it is during a conversation in person or on the phone. Other times, you just mimic the sounds and consonants of the last few words I said. It is incredible to watch you learn language. You actually made a big leap in language this month with your signing. You finally used a sign when communicating with us: “please”. We just kept saying it to you and showing it to you and helping you sign it yourself, and you finally repeated it on your own. It was so exciting!! Now you have a way to ask for something that doesn’t involve whining and crying. It is so nice to see you ask “please” for food, getting picked up, or even for help getting a toy. You also learned to sign “milk” for nursing. The only hard part now is figuring out what you are asking “please” for.
You also learned a few animal sounds. When we ask you what an elephant says, you usually give us a raspberry noise, and if we ask you what the pigeon says, you say “uh-Oh”. The pigeon noise comes from one of your favorite books: Don’t let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. Towards the end of it, the pigeon says, “uh-oh” when he thinks he may be in trouble for trying to get you to let him drive the bus. It is pretty cute to hear you make the connection and say “uh-oh” when we ask about a pigeon. We are also currently working on lion and cat noises.
This month we hit another difficult step in this cooperative learning process of parenting/growing up: discipline. This has been another struggle as Dada and I sought to truly do what is right and best for you. Up until this point we really have just been managing you like a puppy, confining you to “baby-safe” areas, and moving you physically if you got into mischief. Of course, you don’t know it is mischief, you are just exploring your world–much like a puppy would! Well, this month, we noticed that you made that leap from curiosity to disobedience. It was inevitable. The only way to prevent you from disobeying was to have no rules to obey, ever. While that may be something Dada and I could pretend at if we chose to, we live in a world full of rules that you would have to obey, sooner or later. It seems there are rules for everything, from social interactions to playing games, and from personal hygiene to crossing the street. A big part of our job as your Mama and Dada is to teach you about those rules, and how to play this big game called Life as we know it. So, until you can understand the rules yourself, Mama and Dada are going to have to tell you what they are. You are going to have to trust and obey us, even when you don’t know why. Whenever I hesitate to enforce discipline for something you have disobeyed me about, like touching some wires, or grabbing at the dog’s chew bone, I try to envision what could happen to you if you didn’t obey us at a crucial moment crossing the street or touching a strange dog. Those mental pictures are enough to help me try to make you understand that you need to listen to what we say. I don’t pretend to know it all, but Dada and I feel that loving discipline is better for you than ignoring you and treating you like a puppy for the rest of your childhood. We want to honor your ability to learn about things and make moral decisions. We want to keep you safe while you learn. And most of all, we want you to grow up into a happy, healthy girl who has large reserves of both self-control and curiosity.
Lot of love,
Mommy
