We’ve been attending newborn classes in anticipation of our little bundle of -sleeplessness- joy. I think I’ve said it before here, but if you’re having a baby in the NYC area and need classes, definitely check out “realbirth”:http://realbirth.com. Sharp, witty New Yorkers delivering the straight dope on pain management, breastfeeding, and swaddling: there are few better ways to spend an evening in the city.
Last Tuesday’s class revealed that a father’s testosterone levels drop sharply after childbirth. Our instructor Erica explained that this was an evolutionary feature — so fathers don’t eat the baby. I wrote down dutifully, “Rule #3: do not eat the baby.”
Google never fails to impress when you’re looking for a topic that you’ve never in your life thought of before. I just stumbled over “this Guardian article”:http://observer.guardian.co.uk/woman/story/0,,1792138,00.html about fatherhood and the demands of the global marketplace. Money quote (of which there are _many_):
That is another thing no one told me before my daughter was born - looking after a baby is stress-relief. The mythology of fatherhood says that responsibility for a fragile young life will grey your hair overnight. But the urgent simplicity of a child’s needs insulates you from the complex demands of the outside world. When I first went back to work I felt agoraphobia for the first time. My reassuringly narrowed horizons were forced back open. The idea that you are expected, after a few hearty pats on the back, to get on with business as usual struck me as grotesque. I sat in meetings struggling to care. I now live in fear of missing some minuscule step my daughter might have taken down the road of infant development, a newly articulate gurgle or a very prolific poo. Fathering is addictive like that.
Rule #3 (which really was another version of Rule #1, anyway) has now been replaced: “Don’t work too much.”






























3 Comments
Rule for Kyleen #1: It is not nice to steal other people’s babies.
This is what I tell myself every week at church. If at some point you see me walking away with your little bundle of sleeplessness, stop me. Or, you know, let me take the wee one, get some sleep, and then I’ll return the little joy-bringer so you can continue to practice not eating the darling. (Look at that, huh? Very carefully worded to avoid gender. ha.)
Oh, How EXCITED I AM for your impending parenthood!
I would believe that about the testosterone level-just ask Jode.
However, I understood that it was more the absolute fear that a husband experiences when he sees what he put his wife through…..what do you think, Ken? :)
Ken, you’re so funny! Notwithstanding all your anxieties, you’re going to be a great dad.
And Kyleen, you can hold Alden anytime! Just come on over and we’ll hand him to you. ;-)
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[…] just to the adorable children at my church (including the unborn – see my mantra in a comment on Ken’s latest entry), but also to MISBEHAVING CHILDREN. Yes, that’s right: those obnoxious, spoiled, […]